Fruit Parfait
by sky-avenue
Summary: A new freelancer has arrived in Edo. Follow Mai and Shiragi [Original Characters] as they take on various work in the city of Kabuki. Can the famous Yorozuya trio survive in Kabuki? Or will they join forces? Simple comedy for now, some serious plot later
1. Chapter 1

Above the famous Otose Snack House were the three fine members of the Yorozuya, all of them bored to their death.

-- Chocolate Parfait--

01 It's better to eat too much than none

"So bizzar."

Gintoki murmured as he glanced at his Shonen-Jump, opened at the first page of a new series. Looking at him from the side, he may seem as if he is actually reading his Manga as usual. However, if one paid close attention, he would notice that the page hasn't been turned in quite a while. Even his eye, which are claimed by some to be like those of a dead fish, have not moved in the past ten minutes.

"What do you mean, bizzar?"

Shimpachi asked from behind the sofa Gintoki is lying on. He had his bandana on his head, and a broom in his hand. The habit of cleaning the Yorozuya is clearly embedded in his soul.

"Shinpachi-kun, do you not realize?"

"Realize what?"

"No customers have arrived. And no customers means skinny wallet!"

When he finished saying this, Gintoki suddenly became meagre in his appearance, and he let out a long and depressing sigh. Shinpachi, seeing this, looked dumbfounded, and he continued his work. He knows, far better than Gintoki, how the number in Gintoki's banking account has not been rising lately.

"That's like everyday stuff. It's all because you, Gin-san, don't take work seriously."

"Yeah, probably you're in bad odor," Kagura noted from the other sofa, while eating her all-time favourite sukonbu (salted kelp).

Gintoki looked surprised as he got up and put his Jump on the coffe table. "What are you talking about? I just took a shower this morning."

"Gin-san, she doesn't mean you smell! She means your reputation is going down the drain! You have to do something, Gin-san"

"Huh, why me? This store is under the responsibility of all three of us, right? If the reputation, as you say, is going down, then that's what's called a collective responsibility."

Shimpachi sighed again, as he saw Gintoki nodding to himself and himself only.

"Gin-chan"

"What, Kagura."

"But you've always been like this. Why would your reputation go down now?" Kagura asked, and feeling that her point was made, got up to get her next sukonbu. In front of her, on the coffee table, was a mountain of sukonbu boxes, and she randomly picked one and shook it.

"You know, I think it's 'cause we have a Glasses Otaku and a monstrous girl in our shop," Gintoki mentioned lightly.

"What are you saying, Gin-san? You're not suggesting that we have something to do with the decrease in the number of customers?"

"Could be."

Gintoki, as always, felt no guilt in saying this, and he forgot that he even said it in the next 3 minutes. After all, he is the type of man, who, even if he is 90 guilty, would bet his life on the remaining 10 and never apologize. Interesting to note that when he opened up his Jump again, he was reading again.

"What an irresponsible man. I don't even get proper salary and …" Shimpachi started his yawping, and at the same time, Gintoki turned to the next page.

The normal routine at the Yorozuya seemed to have returned. However, only one was spouting out a densely black aura.

The for-a-moment-forgotten Kagura was repeating one set of activities, over and over again. And this consisted of reaching out for a box of sukonbu, shaking the box up-side-down, throwing the box to the side, and then reaching for another box. Her eyes were like those of a starved carnivore, and the sound coming out from her mouth could have easily been mistaken as a sound from a monster roaming for blood. She even kicked Sadaharu, who approached Kagura because of his never ending curiosities, over to the other side of the room without stopping her hands.

"Hey, Kagura?"

Finally realizing the weirdness in Kagura, Gintoki looked at her over his Jump.

"Su…nbu………kon……su…"

"Huh? What, Kagura, can't you speak a bit louder?" Gintoki asked jokingly. "Come now, open your mouth wide, and …" but all he could say was up to there and no more. Something was definitely wrong with Kagura.

"Where is my SUKONBU!?"

Kagura got up to her feet, and with a piercing cry, she turned over the table. Finally Shinpachi and Gintoki noticed the red boxes lying on the floor, all empty. It was evident that all the sukonbu were eaten, and the effect of the last one has died away in Kagura. Now without the vital sukonbu, Kagura was running around the room in rage, screaming something undecipherable to humans. Just as a side note, there is no mistake in saying that Kagura's withdrawal symptoms are far worth than when Gintoki is left without sugar. Therefore, at this stage, even Gintoki has a difficult time trying to tame this beast.

Gintoki took his Shonen-Jump as quickly as possible before it became one of her preys, and he placed it neatly in his bookshelf. Then he looked around the room to see whether there was anything valuable to be protected from Kagura. The sad truth, however, this is that there is nothing valuable in this house, in Gintoki's opinion, other than the Shonen-Jump.

"Come to think of it, if there were anything valuable, I would have sold it off by now," murmured Gintoki. Of course, before even selling expensive arts, he does not even remember having the money to buy them in the first place. Therefore, there were nothing to be broken, other than the furniture. Gintoki moved some of the electronics to the next room, and the only thing left for him to do was to hope that Kagura won't break those electronics (especially the fan).

On the other hand, Shinpachi, who had wisely figured out that nothing could be done, was trying to leave the house quietly.

"Shinpachi, wait, come here for a minute."

When Shinpachi was about to pass Sadaharu, who was, quite surprisingly, sitting in the corner of the room looking frightened, Gintoki called him. He tried to weigh between running out of the house in full throttle and simply going back to where Gintoki was.

(I have faith in my legs to run away fast. Probably at this moment, nobody is expecting me to run away. That means, if I run now, even Gin-san would be taken by surprise, and I can buy a couple of seconds. Even if Gin-san quickly start to run after me, I would be turning at the corner few blocks away.)

"Shinpachi?"

Hearing Gintoki's voice, Shinpachi closed his eyes and apologized in his mind.

(I"m sorry Gin-san!)

"Wait, you're not trying to run away, are you Shinpachi-kun?"

As soon as Shinpachi started to run, a wooden sword appeared in his view, and he was forced to stop.

(He couldn't have expected me to run away?)

"You're not going to leave me all alone now, are you, Shinpachi-kun?"

By the time Shinpachi noticed, Gintoki was already in front of him, and Gintoki even had a hand on Shinpachi's shoulder. His evil smile (and I do mean evil) was indicating that some sort of plan was in this man's mind.

"Eh, well, how can I explain…"

While Shinpachi was trying to find a reasonable explanation for his escape, Gintoki's face turned serious.

"Shinpachi, can you save Edo?"

"Huh, what now, Gin-san?"

Right behind him, Shinpachi could hear the screams of Kagura. Although he was distracted by the sudden change in Gintoki's contenance, he was still looking for an escape route.

"You are strong, you are capable. You can save this Edo, no, this world even!"

"What are you trying to say?"

"Shinpachi, you wanted to be strong, right?"

"Well yes, but…"

The second Shinpachi's eyes met those of Gintoki's, something was put in Shinapchi's hand. Shinpachi quickly looked down and noticed a golden key placed in his small hand.

(I wonder where I can use this key. Huh, wait, why did he give me this key? He said something about saving the world, but this has something to do with it? THIS has something to do with saving the world?)

Shinpachi was too concentrated on the key to even take note of the hand being removed from his shoulder and a small breeze coming from his side. By the time he moved his head up again, Gintoki was already closing the door to the house.

"Use it to open THE door!" was the last words Shinpachi heard of Gintoki before the door was shut tightly. Soon after that, an angry cry of O-tose-san could be heard, followed by the sound of a motorscooter engine.

"I wonder what this key would open."

Talking to him self, Shinpachi walked past Sadaharu again. Sadaharu got up right away, and followed him.

"Hey, Sadaharu, what do y…"

As soon as Shinpachi looked at Sadaharu for help, Sadaharu bit Shinpachi's hand. No, to be more precise, Sadaharu bit Shinpachi's arm, trying to chew on the key in his hand.

"No-o-o-ooooo! Sadaharu! Stop! Please stop!"

Although the teeth are not deep into Shinpachi's arm, Sadaharu refused to open his mouth again. Shinpachi quickly closed his hands, lest losing the key.

"Oh, what am I supposed to do? The key is in Sadaharu's mouth, and my hand is in Sadaharu's mouth. I can't move much, and Kagura-chan doesn't stop."

At this stage, there was nothing that Shinpachi could do other than believing that Gintoki had ran out of the house in order to get help.

"He could have gone to get another package of sukonbu," he though. But then again, Gintoki would not have the money to go buy another package.

"Come on, Gin-san! Come back with an arm full of sukonbu!" Shinpachi shouted as loud as he could, to combat with the noise that Kagura was making. The outcry of fury from downstairs could not be heard by Shinpachi.


	2. Chapter 2

The members of the Edo police force, Shinsengumi, were already up when the sun rose above the horizon, training for another great day in Edo.

Reporting Live: The Truth Behind their Strength

"You over there! If you don't want to train, just go home!"

The voice of the vice-commander Hijikata Toshiro echoed throughout the headquarter of Shinsengumi. In front of him were all the members of the police force, lined up and practising with their wooden sword; all, except for one.

"Sougo! Are you sleeping again!?"

As usual, Okita Sougo, the captain of the fist division, was sleeping during his training, wearing an eye-mask. He was swinging his wooden sword at a steady beat, and in his form, nothing seemed to be wrong. Note that this can probably only be done by Okita, the best swordsman in the force.

"Wake up, Sougo!"

Okita, who did not seem to be hearing the voice of Hijikata, swung his sword right into the stomach of Hijikata. Hijikata was not quick enough to dodge the attack, and stood back crouching.

"Huh, Hijikata-san, what are you doing?" asked Okita, after he took off his eye-mask and blinked several times. His expression was rather innocent, as if he did not know anything that had taken place since the time he had fallen asleep.

"You!"

"Me?" Okita blinked again, and looked at his wooden sword. "Oh, I guess it's not safe to swing my sword while I sleep. You know, I'm subconsciously doing it."

"You liar, you just attacked me on purpose didn't you? You were waiting for me to come here."

And then again, the fight between Hijikata and Okita had begun. Actually, the fight consisted of angry Hijikata and rather happy Okita, who was whistling as he listened to Hijikata. The others could do nothing but watch.

Reporting Live: The Truth Behind their Strength

There is always the stronger above the strong (A)

"That darn Sougo, he used his wooden sword against me. He didn't even have his bazooka with him," Hijikata continued his uttering throughout the morning. Only thing he could think of to calm his anger was eating mayonnaise; thus, he went over to the fridge.

"...w…Where's my mayonnaise!?"

It is important to note that the fridge in the Shinsengumi headquarter is filled with many food. The members are truly making use of the tax money collected from the citizens of Edo. However, it is often the case that one would always find everything but what he wants in this fridge. Especially Hijikata is often upset because he can not find the mayonnaise. No, let's not use the term "upset," for using such light term would surely invite criticisms from the victims. It was maddening for Hijikata to not find his "friend."

"You, was it you? Who ate it! It was here, I saw it!"

Hijikata looked around and waited for an answer; however, all those standing near him could only shake their head. After all, who could say to Hijikata in this state that he was the one who finished the last package of mayonnaise? That he had used it to eat last night's dinner?

(Doesn't he even remember that?)

The inner cry of the members could not be heard by Hijikata.

At the same time, there was yet another captain realizing that he was missing something.

"That's odd, it should have been …" Okita mumbled as he walked around in his room. He looked through all his drawers and even checked under his tatami.

Finally Okita stopped his hand and went out of the room, hoping to catch someone to ask. Usually, there are few people wandering about in the halls.

"Did someone see my time bomb?" he asked, but no one was in the halls. Okita looked around and went back into his room.

Now, what Okita did not realize was that those who had been standing in the halls had realized that he was coming out, and they had fled. These people had mistakenly thought that Okita was coming out to set another attack on Hijikata, and had fled in order to not be involved in his plan.

"Man, I thought today, I could get Hijikata-san," murmured Okita as he took out several mysterious and dangerous looking objects from a box.

Of course, there were others in the Shinsengumi who were missing their valuable belongings.

For example, Yamazaki was desperately searching for his badminton racket. He was planning to practise some of his forms in his spare time in the morning, but he could not find it.

The commander, Kondou Isao, was also upset because of a loss. Although, it is important to note that this cannot be presented to the citizens of Edo (and above that, to the members of Shinsengumi) because of the potential in damaging the already-wounded image of Shinsengumi,

"No, it's not here. Oh, isn't she here yet!?"

Outside of Kondo's room was a crowd of men, trying to listen what Kondo was doing. No one, however, had the courage to go in and ask him what was wrong.

(At this rate, the meeting planed for today may not even get started.)

When all had thought thus, a female voice came from the entrance of the building.

"Hello everyone. The door's open so I'll just came in."

A girl, no, a young lady, had parked her motorcycle, and she hung her helment and her goggles on the handle. Before anyone came to welcome her in, she simply went into the building. Of course, be warned that this is something only she can do. If anyone else tried to come in to the headquarter without permission, they would surely be cut in half as soon as he (or she) stepped in.

She seemed to be sure of where to go. After all, this was her third time coming here.

She had a green kimono-like vest, and a black t-shirt, and her sand-coloured shorts had many pockets. She had a belt over her obi, and a wooden sword was hanging from the belt.

Her name was Mai.

She had a backpack, which looked quite small and again, like her shorts, had many pockets. Although some of the contents of the bag cannot be revealed due to her work policies, let us have a look at some that can be revealed.

"Toshi! Morning!" she shouted as she entered the cafeteria.

She ignored the men who were half dead due to the outrage of Hijikata, and she went straight to the fridge. She peaked inside and let out a short sigh.

"As I thought. No vegetables, some old cheese … oh, man, what's this?"

She went through the contents, picking out some old food from the fridge. Then she opened her backpack and took out some vegetables, juice bottles, sausages, and all the like. She reminded those around that the sausage was 60 beef as they requested, but no one had the energy to listen. Those who were still alive hoped that inside her bag was the yellow savior.

Mai decided all the work was done with the fridge, and she closed the bag and the fridge. She then stood up and put her hand on Hijikata's shoulder.

"Toshi, are you listening to me?"

"What!? oh, hey, it's you."

Hijikata softened his expression somewhat, and he let go of the member A. The poor soul was almost loosing his consciousness. His soul seemed as if it was wandering whether or not to leave the body, but let's just say he is alright.

Mai, looking rather happy and not taking notice of how angered Hijikata was, took out a yellow package out of nowhere.

"Here you go," was all that she said.

Hijikata took the package of mayonnaise from Mai's hand, speechless in front of the yellow goddess. Meanwhile the others loosened their muscles. The man who was about to loose his soul even got up and smiled.

"Well, you'll probably finish that in less than a day though, won't you?"

As Mai commented, a rather chilly wind blew into the cafeteria. It's not that the freezer had popped open, but the men there finally realized that after this package, the same terror would be repeated.

"So, I got you a whole box set," Mai said as she pulled out a whole cardboard box filled with three dozen packages of mayonnaise. No one took notice of how big the box was compared to her bag. Just to give a simple explanation, her bag was given to her by an Amanto, an alien from Terrestrials' point of view, and it seemed to be connected to another space, allowing her to store great amount of stuff.

"This way, you should be alright for a month at the least. I would prefer if you could use it over three months, though," Mai complained quietly. "Oh well, Toshi, be careful with eating too much mayonnaise."

Mai smiled and tapped Hijikata's shoulder, and then she left the kitchen. Hijikata remained speechless for another three full minutes, and finally looked at the mayonnaise in his hand again.

The other members of Shinsengumi slowly begane to get up, and they realized that the storm had gone by.

Hijikata happily started to prepare his own breakfast, now complete with the golden topping.

"Anyone care for a Hijikata-special?"

Hijikata turned and asked, but he could not see anyone present in the kitchen. Those who had been involved with the whole incident had fled to the garden.

'Is it just me, or did Hijikata-san cut down some of his mayonnaise on his breakfast?"

No one answered, but some simply nodded their heads.

Mai proceeded in the opposite direction from the way the poor Shinsengumi members had fled. She reached a rather quiet hallway. She could tell that the reason why the hallway was chilly was not because the summer was about end. No, she thought, this atmosphere was being created by the sinister prince.

"Ah… Mai-san"

"Huh?"

Mai stopped to see who called, and noticed several people hiding behind the next corner. These men had been in hiding for over 30 minutes now, and they were expecting another attack by Okita against Hijikata. Mai checked to see that there were, in fact, seven members of the fist squad, as she had felt, and she directed her eyes to the door to Okita's room. She had a weird sensation that if she let her eyes off of that door, Okita would come out while emitting a black aura.

"If your captain up to hunting Hijikata?"

"We are assuming so. It's probably a good idea to stay away from him."

"Why's that?"

"He definitely has some sort of a dangerous weapon; greater than the ones he's ever used."

"How do you know?"

"Don't you feel this chill? This is probably caused by the captain's aura. He MUST be happy that he can finally get back on Hijikata-san."

Mai let out a sigh and scratched her head. She knew that she was right, and that these men were wrong.

"No, he's not happy… at least not yet. Anyways, I need to do my job, and that means I need to go in there. I feel kinda bad for Toshi, but he can be the sacrifice to save the lives of the innocent members of Shinsengumi, I guess."

"Mai-san, what are you…"

The men wanted to ask, but they couldn't. For the smile they saw on her face was much more "black" than that of Okita could ever be.

Mai went straight to the room of Okita, and knocked on the door three times.

"What is it?"

Okita came out with a somber look on his face. However, as soon as he saw Mai's face, he quickly let go of it, and he rather looked surprised to see the guest. He dropped his voodoo doll and remained silent. Mai, on the other hand, did not seem to mind him at all and entered his room. She placed her bag on a table, and she started to look for something.

"Oh, here it is. I though you might be running out of these things," she said as she created a pile of voodoo-doll-like time bombs. "It was hard finding the right guy to make them. Most of them failed in the middle, some decided to run away because they thought I was going to use these against them."

By the time she finished saying this, several new types of bombs were coming out of her bag. Some were spherical, and some were shaped like Q. P. mayonaise packaging. The latter was obviously specially crafted to be used against Hijikata.

"Wow, you're amazing!"

Okita looked at the pile of bombs and Mai back and forth, and cried out of joy.

"Oh, and I fixed your bazooka. You said something was wrong with it, right? I wanted to find a craftsman to do it, but I thought I could do it myself."

Now Mai was trying to take out a bazooka out of her bag. There probably is no need to explain that the bazooka is far bigger than the bag. This bazooka is something Okita uses often enough, mostly pointed towards the sub-commander, Hijikata.

"Don't be too rough with her. You'll break her completely soon, and then even I won't be able to fix it."

"Oh… sure, I'll take 'good' care of it," he said with a dark grin on his face. "You never cease to surprise me."

"Yeah?"

"You shouldn't have any grudge against Hijikata-san, yet you help me so much."

"Well, you are right. But that's why I don't attack him myself."

"Then why do you help me?"

"Because it's fun watching the chaos from the sidelines."

By this time, the members who were listening to the conversation from the hallway were convinced that Mai was the most dangerous of anyone associated with the Shinsengumi. Not even Okita nor Hijikata could match her aura filled with danger.

Mai, finished with all the business she had with Okita, decided to exit the room. She realized that there were several men standing outside the door, and said loudly, "So, I'm going to be on my way." Hearing this, the members who were standing outside of the room rushed to hide.

"Oh, yeah, and I thought I should let you know," she said, as she stepped outside of the room. "Countdown for one of the bombs has already started."

Mai closed the door quickly, and Okita, not knowing what in the world was going on, looked at the topmost bomb on the pile. That moment, the remaining time reached 2 minutes.

"w… what!?"

Leaving Okita's cry behind, Mai went on the the next business with a small smile on her face. Men who saw her smile trembled and saw Okita running to the opposite direction.

Next Mai proceeded to the garden. There, one can see the figure of Yamazaki searching for his badminton racket in vain. He was searching the garden, hoping that he might have left it there after his practice. While he was looking through the twigs of a stubby shrub, something touched his shoulder.

"What?"

"Hey Yamazaki-kun, I found your racket."

The thing that touched Yamazaki's shoulder was a badminton racket. To add, the person holding the racket was Mai.

"Why do you have that with you?"

"Oh, you know, I found it on the road," she said as she chuckled.

"Mai-san, that's a lie, right?"

"Haha… so you noticed."

While Mai continued to laugh, Yamazaki dropped his shoulders. Actually. this is not the first time that Mai took Yamazaki's racket. Since the time Shinsengumi started to employ her, she had already "borrowed" Yamazaki's racket.

"What did you use it for this time?"

Once Yamazaki received his racket with a note explaining that Mai had used the racket to protect herself from the Chinese stars (shurikens) and knives bring thrown at her. Needless to say that the racket was no longer useful as a racket. She gave him a new racket to compensate for the damage. However, this was only several days ago; Yamazaki was not expecting Mai to take his racket again so early.

"Oh, you know, I needed some money, so I decided to compete in a badminton competition," Mai laughed again.

"That's a lie again, right?"

"No, this time it's the truth. I actually got first place, so you should be congratulating me."

"A person who would use a badminton racket to hit back knives gets a first prize? Moreover, a person who doesn't even have her own racket gets a first prize? What kind of competition was that?"

"Time-bomb-shuttlecock 'deathminton' competition."

Where in the world would have such dangerous competition, was the first thing Yamazaki thought. However, he decided not to comment thus. It was hard to tell whether or not Mai was lying, for she was continually laughing.

"Anyways, thanks for the racket."

"When did you take the racket?"

"Yesterday afternoon. After you finished your practising and went to eat dinner."

"Did that competition take place at night time?"

"Yup, it's pretty to see fireworks in the dark."

She was trying to explain that the courts were lit up, when something exploded in the headquarter. However, Mai ignored the sound, and she kept talking.

"Um… did you just hear something?"

"Oh, it's probably the time bomb that Okita set against Hijikata," Mai said with a very big grin.

Mai parted from Yamazaki, and she walked on to her last destination: room of the commander. En route, she passed by the kitchen, and she saw a grey smoke coming out of there.

"Sougo!"

It was definitely the voice of Hijikata, and Mai went on with a pleasant countenance.

Just by the corner, Okita was letting out a deep sigh.

"Sougo, did you hold back? The vice-commander is still alice. He seems to have enough energy to shout that loud, you know."

"It's not me, but you who's holding back."

"What, moi?"

"That bomb itself was pretty weak."

"O, so you figured that out. As you said, I don't have any grudges against him, and I can't afford to kill him," Mai went on, laughing. "Don't worry, the others are greater in strength. They should be the same explosive power as the ones you gave me as a sample. But you should be careful with them. You were told not to play around with fire, right?"

"What a weird person," Okita said as he made his way to his room.

Now Mai, who arguably helped and annoyed three Shinsengumi members in one morning, was heading to the room of Kondou Isao. There, several men were still wondering whether they should go into the room.

"'Xcuse me," Mai shouted as she made her way through toward the door. "I'm coming in!"

She went into the room and quickly shut the door behind her. Therefore, only thing that the other members could see was Kondou walking around in his room.

"Hello, Kondou-san."

"Did you… did you?"

Kondou looked hopeful in seeing Mai with a smile.

"Yup, I have the thing you asked for."

Mai took out a square-shaped thing wrapped in a piece of green cloth. Kondou jumped as he caught sight of it.

"So you did it!" he exclaimed as he took out a silver picture fram from the cloth.

"Oh, and the thing you asked for is on the other side, okay?"

In the picture frame was a photo of Tae, a lady Kondou is seen stalking. Kondou quickly took out the picture and looked at the back side. There, another picture was printed similar to the one on the front side. However, this one had Kondou's face printed beside Tae's.

For a moment, one may think that the two have actually come to love each other. However, even a person lacking in common sense would notice the excessive amount of roses apparent in the background.

"This picture is well done."

"Yeah, I'm used to using computers."

By this time, it is obvious that the photo is a composite picture.

"So, you're still stalking her? Her house has become a sort of a… a… fortress."

Although Mai continued with her complains, Kondou could not hear her, for he was in the upmost happiness. His world was filled with roses like those in the picture.

(At this rate, this man would die at least once from excessive happiness)

Mai thought, but she dare not say it out loud. She knew that even if Kondou died of happiness, he would crawl back up just to taste the happiness again.

To write the truth, Mai had stolen -- no, "took back" should be the right words to use -- the picture from Tae. The picture, of course, was taken while Kondou was stalking her, and she found it only few days ago. Kondou explained that incident to Mai, and he asked her to get it back. That was when he also asked her to make a composite picture. Mai, surprisingly, was alive the next morning after going through all the security system set up at Tae's house.

"If anything happens again, let me know."

"Thanks again, Mai."

"No problem. After all, this is my job."

Mai left as she said so. Those standing outside of Kondou's room made way as she came out, and watched her make her way to the exit.

At the gate, she told one guard, "I'll be here next week as promised, so send me the requests by that time."

She turned on her scooter and made her way home.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: I decided to extend the last chapter, so if you haven't read the second half, please read it! (12/31/'07)

Sometimes similar people have similar businesses

Gintoki, having escaped the wrath of Kagura, was riding through the city of Kabuki on his scooter. Normally, he would go straight to play pachinko, but to day, he was different. He was actually trying to find the reason why he was having fewer customers each day. As Kagura suggested, Gintoki did not change his personality, and he had been spending his days with his normal eyes that looked like those of a dead fish. There was no reason why the customers should suddenly decide not to come to him. Furthermore, it was odd that almost all the customers should suddenly stop doing business with him at the same timing.

And so, Gintoki was going around the city hoping that by doing so, he may come across some interesting pieces of information. However, much to his dismay, he was still left in the dark about the whole mystery.

"I am the protagonist of this story, right? I'm the HERO, right?"

Let me add that by this time, his blood glucose level was at its all-time-low, meaning that he was more moody than ever. Not only that, but he was also upset by the fact that in the last chapter, he had made no appearances whatsoever. (As a side note, he does not, in fact, know that his spotlight was taken away by the other protagonist of the story.)

Although Gintoki tried his best, he decided to quit the vain search. He paid little attention now to the scenery, for he felt no hopes of finding anything new. After all, he has been living in this area for quite some time. If anything changed, he should have noticed it right away. Yes, RIGHT away.

And he did.

He realized that something unfamiliar was approaching him. He first felt its existence, then soon realized that it what was different about the scenery was a certain two-story housing. He watched as the house approached him, or rather, as he approached it with his scooter; it was no different to him, for the poster posted right above its door had taken away his full concentration.

"Miyazaki, the Jack of All Trades?"

Gintoki read the poster several times, but there were no other words on it than those that he pronounced. It was obvious that the resident of this house, whoever it may be, was a freelancer like himself.

(No way…)

Gintoki passed by the poster, but he kept his eyes glued to it. In other words, if any explanations are necessary, at this point, he was driving his scooter looking backwards. It was as dangerous as communicating with a cellphone while driving a care, or worse.

"Hey! YOU!"

He heard someone's voice, directed at him beyond any doubt. He slowly turned his head forward, but he was quick enough to catch the sight of a young woman heading towards him on a scooter. The two scooters collided, fell, and threw the rider onto the road.

Lucky for the two of them, no cars were on the road and not many people were around to get involved with the crash.

As he lay on the ground, he opened his eyes. He could see the other rider. She was wearing a green kimono-like clothing and a pair of shorts with many pockets. She had a wooden sword, just like him; he was surprised see a person similar to himself in Edo; or even, in this universe itself.

(Wait, did I kill her?)

The girl too, was looking at him. However, Gintoki could not tell whether or not she was alive; for all he knew, she could have died with her eyes opened. However, he was somewhat comforted to see that there was no blood flowing about on the street.

(Huh, I'm on the ground too. Am I in a critical condition too?)

Gintoki felt that his head was about to overheat, but he was still trying to understand the situation.

(What do you think you're doing? You know that I'm in a deep financial trouble, right? If you are hospitalized, I can't pay for it. Even if I am hospitalized, I can't pay for that either!)

Gintoki, out of his despair, tried to send his thoughts of complaints to the young woman.

This young lady, who was ran over by Gintoki, is Mai. She was on her way home when she collided with Gintoki. She too, had many thoughts flowing in her head as she stared at him.

(Hey, is that guy okay? It wasn't me who wasn't looking, so it's not my fault, right? But he looks like he's more injured than I am. Then I'll probably be punished by law, right? He doesn't seem to be bleeding, thank God. But what do I do? He might already be "up there" already. Look at his eyes! They're look like eyes of a dead fish! Wait… is that how it looks when a man dies? Then that means …)

Although she did not move a muscle on her face, her mind was full of panicking thoughts.

(No way, I was finally starting to get good customers since I arrived in Edo. I'll probably be caught by the police right? Wait, the police force here's the Shinsengumi! Darn, when I was finally employed by the Shinsengumi. But come to think of it, I'm on the ground too. Eh? Am I on my way to say farewell to this world?)

Mai tried to think whether or not she felt any pain. She could feel the pain from hitting the ground. However, it was not painful enough to kill a person.

(I can think this much, so I should be fine. It's better to be fined for a road accident than to die.)

Now, the two were having different but very similar thoughts. However, it is time, according to human common sense, for them to realize that the other may be alive. And so, the two quickly got up.

In shock to see that the other was alive, both humans could not say anything. However, they were able to say something. And this, they said it together.

"You are alive!?"

It was definitely a good thing that there were little people on the streets, for they may have been taken to a mental hospital.

"Huh, what a relief that you're alive," said GIntoki, laughing nervously.

"Oh, ye…yeah, you look pretty healthy yourself," Mai also said with a similar laugh.

"So, this whole thing really didn't happen right? (I don't have the money even if she sues me.)"

"Well, there's nothing really to sue each other for, right? (If this gets big, I'll lose my job!)"

The two got up, going back onto the scooters.

"So, I'm going this way," Mai informed Gintoki, as she pointed in the direction from which Gintoki just came.

"Is that so? I was actually going that way too."

"Liar, you just came from that direction."

"I was trying to turn when you came."

"Oh, is that so?"

The two turned on the engines, headed the same way, and stopped at the same time.

"Why do you stop?" Mai asked.

"I have some businesses here."

As Gintoki said so, Mai's expression became more serious. Her right hand was already touching her wooden sword, unmistakably in order to fight. Gintoki quickly put up his hands as he saw this.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Are you hired by the Saotomes?"

"Huh? Who's that?"

"You were hired by the Saotome family to steal back the vase that I took, were you not? As I told them, the vase was illegally taken by the family, and all I did was bring it back to the rightful owner."

Gintoki could make nothing out of what Mai was talking about to save his life.

"You look dumbfounded. So you're not from the Saotomes. Wait, so you must be from that darn Katou clan. So he's planning to have me assassinated for stealing his documents."

"I'm telling you I don't know what you're talking about."

Gintoki tried to calm Mai, but there was nothing more that he could do, and Mai looked more like a trained swordsman with every word that she spoke. Of course, Gintoki knew that he was above her if they were ever to cross swords, but it was also true that he did not feel like fighting with a woman.

"Oh, it's him, isn't it. That Andou has grudge against me because he lost in the Time-bomb-shuttlecock 'deathminton' competition, doesn't he?"

"What kind of competition do you take part in? It's definitely not something a weak girl should do."

It was, by this time, plain to GIntoki that Mai was not a "weak girl," as Gintoki has put it.

"Oh, then there was that guy, who was mad at me for becuase the cheese was stuck on the pizza box when I delivered it. Now, who was that? Go, go… no, was it To-something? No, wait it was Go-something. Go-tou! That's it, It was Gotou. So he wants to kill me for that, eh?"

"Who would kill someone for such thing?"

"OH, so you're NOT hired to KILL me?"

"Oh course not!" Gintoki yelled in Mai's ear. "What did you do to put yourself in such invidious position?"

Mai lightened her expression as she realized that GIntoki was, after all, not her enemy, and scratched her head as she said, "Well, it comes with the job, you know."

"Job, huh… wait, so you're the freelancer?" Gintoki inquired as he pointed at the poster hanging right above the door.

"Yup. But if you're not my enemy, what are you?"

"Wel, you know …"

By this time, Gintoki started to have an idea of why he was losing his customers. However, he couldn't think of anything to do. His pride did not allow him to accuse Mai of stealing his customers, nor could he ask Mai to provide him with work. He thought about telling her that he came here to "check things out," but he knew that doing so would only bring her suspicions back again.

"Oh, you know, I have some requests for you," was Gintoki's answer in despair.

"A customer? Sorry I mistook you for an enemy. In that case, come in, and let's talk business."

Mai placed her scooter in the space between her house and the one adjoining hers, and invited Gintoki to do the same with his. Then she unlocked the door to her house.

"I'm home," Mai announced as she stepped in the house.

Gintoki followed. He could see nothing interesting about the house, but he was sure that this freelancer was having much better business than himself.

"Welcome back, Mai."

Gintoki looked forward, startled that there was someone else in the house. On the other end of the hall was a girl, but he was sure that there was no one there a moment ago.

"I hope nothing happened while I was gone," Mai patted the girl's head as she said so, and went into a room at the end of the hall.

The girl was about ten years old or so. She was wearing a blue kimono. Only skin she was showing was that of her face; even her hands were hidden by its lone sleeves. She had an abnormally white skin.

"A guest, Shiragi," Mai explained.

The girl looked at Gintoki. She approached Gintoki, and she stared into his eyes. Gintoki looked back at her, but soon he decided to avoid looking into her eyes, for he felt that he was being analysed. She was definitely "analysing" him. Gintoki felt sure that the girl was "calculating" something about him, and it was so inhuman that it was uneasy being near the girl.

"Sir, can you eat sweets?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure," Gintoki answered, somewhat startled.

"Understood," Shiragi said, and she quietly went out of the house.

Gintoki watched the girl as she opened the door and went out. While doing so, he contemplated on the question he had just answered. She had asked him whether or not he "can eat sweets," rather then if he would like to eat sweets. To GIntoki, it was a clear indicator that the girl knew that Gintoki had been warned by his doctor to limit his glucose intakes.

(She WAS analysing me!)

It took him a while to realize that he was actually shivering.

"What's wrong?"

Mai, not knowing what on earth had just took place, was standing in front of a room in the end of the hallway. Above its door was a wooden plate, with letters spelling "Office" in black ink.

Gintoki entered the room, and sat down on a white sofa.

"So, what's the request you'd like to make."

"Oh, yeah, about that…"

So, it was fine that Gintoki was able to fool Mai up until this point. However, Gintoki was not thinking about what to do from this point on. The fact that he had a request to make for Mai was a complete lie, and he was desperately trying to think of something to say.

As he struggled in his own mind, Mai's expression hardend.

"What, is it something so serious? If you'd like, there's a soundproof room upstairs."

"Uh…no, it's not THAT serious," Gintoki answered, but he could not help commenting on the whole situation in his mind.

(What kind of preparation did she do? Is it 'cause there are tonnes of people with such secretive requests? But from the poster, she surely is a newbie to this city. I mean the ink seemed like it dried only few minutes ago. Then what, people of Edo trust this freelancer more than me?)

"I uh… I actually have this friend, right. And he wanted you to…"

He searched in his pocket for a picture. On it was a small black cat, which he himself was supposed to catch. Gintoki had seen the cat several times, but he was unsuccessful in catching her. Today is supposed to be the deadline. So, he thought wisely to ask Mai to catch her, so that his job can be completed.

However, much to his surprise , Mai seemed to know this cat.

"Oh, it's Tama-chan isn't it. Mr. Sakai's cat? You're his friend?"

"Huh? You know this cat?"

"Yeah, but that's odd, I just caught her last week. Did she escape again?"

"Wait, when were you asked to catch her?"

"Last week."

What had happened was that the Sakai family found Gintoki, and asked him to find the cat. Then, the next day, the family found Mai, and asked her to do the same. Just two days after, the cat was caught by the second freelancer.

(The basterd, he hired us both!)

Hiding his inner rage, Gintoki took out another picture.

"Oh, yeah, he told me she was found … I guess. No, what I really wanted to ask is this."

In the photo was a silver ring with a blue stone. It was stolen from some rich family, and he was asked to retrieve it.

"Hey! This is Hyuga family's ring! I got the request from them about two weeks ago. But… I guess it's stolen again?"

It seems as though this request was also completed by Mai.

"No, no, forget that one. The real request is this."

Gintoki took out another picture.

"Oh, I just sent that perfume to the lady three days ago."

"No, my mistake, this one."

"Oh, this mirror was …"

"Sorry, this book."

"Hey, I thought this book …"

"is not what I'm looking for, indeed. This old man's a friend of mine and …"

"Oh, yeah, he asked me to …"

"Hey, where did that picture come from? No, forget it. It's actually this guy."

"Oh, the dog ran away AGAIN? Last wee…"

Gintoki tried for several minutes to find a job that Mai had not received and completed, but it was an unsuccessful attempt. As soon as Mai showed the sign of knowing what the request was about, Gintoki quickly took out a different photo lest hearing that he was betrayed by his customers.

(Okay, I understand,) Gintoki thought to himself. (So this lady's that skilled, huh? Then I should try this …)

His eyes were suddenly serious, and he took out two pictures.

"Those are my REAL requests."

Mai took the pictures and inspected them.

"What are they?"

She clearly did not know what the pictures were. And that was the way it was meant to be; for one had the picture of Kagura running around the house, and the other was a picture of Shinpachi with his and stuck inside Sadaharu's mouth. These pictures were taken that very day. However, due to the irrelevance of the whole issue and the lack of the writer's creativity, how and when these pictures were taken will be omitted from this chapter (and probably from this whole story).

"Those are …" Gintoki begane to explain, but only to be interrupted by Shiragi.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting."

"Welcome back, Shiragi."

Shiragi placed a gigantic chocolate parfait in front of Gintoki, and she observed his reaction for a moment of two. Then, satisfied with the level of excitement in Gintoki, she placed a mango pudding in front of Mai. and she sat beside Mai.

"This…this…"

Gintoki, seeing the gorgeous piece of art (according to Gintoki), could not hide his excitement

"There's a restaurant right across the street, and their desserts are pretty good. I usually give my customers something fron that restaurant"

Mai's explanation hardly reached the man's brain, for he was about to reach heaven just by eating the parfait.

"So, while you eat, tell me what these pictures mean."

"Oh, oo hee, hey har fwain who… (Oh, you see. they are trying to…)"

"Okay, on second thought, just eat."

She decided to forget about the request for the short while, and she herself begane to eat her pudding.

After eight minutes and thirty four seconds (according to Shiragi), the two finished eating.

"So I ask again, what are these pictures?"

"You're probably too new to Edo to know, but that girl and the dog are the most dangerous thugs around here."

"Ah, so this girl must be a martial arts type…" Mai said, pointing at Kagura.

"That's right."

"And what about this ginormous white dog?"

"Man-eating dog. That boy's about to be eaten by that thing."

By "that thing," Gintoki means Sadaharu, and "[that boy" means Shinpachi.

"So, you took these proofs and decided to run here for help?"

"Yeah, something like that. I want you to capture these two…things."

It was Gintoki's surprisingly credible acting skills that lead Mai to believe this nonsense. He tried to explain how Kagura and Sadaharu are beyond human control.

He was expecting Mai to refuse this request because of its difficulty.

(And then, if I go back and come here again with the two completely under control, she will bow before me and work under my control!)

"So, the payment …" Mai began, but she was cut short by Gintoki.

"Can be paid later, right?"

"No, I ask for a third in advance."

"Well, I am doing business with you for the first time, you know. I'll pay as soon as you finish the job."

"Fine, just wait here. I'll be back soon. Where's this house, anyways?"

There was a map of Edo right under the glass table top, and Gintoki pointed out his house. He also gave Mai a picture of the house he is renting.

"Freelancer Gin-chan, eh?" Mai read the writing posted right in front of Gintoki's house. "Hey, I know this house…I think."

"Wait, is it famous? Did you hear about a good freelancer living here?"

"Oh, I'm not too up-to-date with rumours and news and stuff, but I saw it somewhere. Well, that doesn't matter now. I should get going."

"I'll be waiting here."

"Good. Shiragi! Can you get my bag?"

As soon as Mai shouted thus, Shiragi threw her a nap sack. Mai caught it and ran out of the house, followed by Shiragi.

"Well aren't they careless. What if I was a robber or something."

Gintoki stood up and examined the room. There was a kitchen connected to this "office," and right by it was a dining room. The three rooms made a L shape, and dining room could not be seen clearly from the office.

There were many plants in the room, and it almost seemed as if Mai was planning to start a new career as a florist. It did not seem like an office at all, and without the kitchen, it seemed rather like a well decorated cafe.

"What's her name anyways?" Gintoki muttered and lay on the sofa.

Comment in the name of Postface

Hello, I decided to put a short note, for this chapter will be

THE LAST

to be posted this year.

Yes, the year 2007 is ending! (Well in Japan it already ended, I guess.)

Anyways, thank you for reading, and I hope you come back to this story next year!

Sky-avenue


	4. Chapter 4

"So this is the place…"

Mai stopped her scooter and took out the picture given to her by Gintoki to check that she had indeed come to the right house. There was no doubt that she came to the right spot; there would only be one house with the sign, "Yorozuya Gin-chan" (freelancer Gin-chan) on it.

04 Bad service can cost your life.

"Can't you keep it down for even a minute!?"

Right in front of the house, a (old) lady was shouting her complaints to the resident of the second floor of her house. This lady, of course, was Otose, the landlady of Gintoki. She was also running a small pub on the first floor, named Snack Otose. Her employee, Catherine was also with her.

"Why don't you just kick them out the house?"

"Yeah, you're right. If they are not quiet by the time we come out again…," she said, and breathed in some extra air. "IF YOU"RE NOT QUIET BY THEN, I'M GOING TO THROW ALL OF YOU OUT!"

The dark aura of Otose and Catherine was dense enough to attract attention of all the pedestrians on the street, but it seemed as the intensity was not enough to silence the monster upstairs: Kagura. Even now, already an hour or so after Gintoki had left the house, Kagura's shrieks and crashing of objects could be heard from outside the house.

"What on earth are they doing up there?" Otose murmured and turned to go in the house again, but stopped moving as soon as she caught sight of Mai.

"Hello, Mai, what are you doing here? You've just paid your rent yesterday…"

"Hey, Otose-san, so is this the place where the most dangerous thugs in Edo are causing trouble?"

"Thugs? Oh sure, they're something worse than that."

"I knew it…"

"You're not with Shiragi-chan today?" Catherine asked.

"Shiragi's looking for a wagon right now. She should be here soon."

"A wagon?" Otose and Catherine asked in unison, but the question did not reach Mai. Mai was looking intensely at the second floor of the house.

"So, there's a gigantic man-eating thug up there too, right?"

"Huh? Man-eating?" Otose knew Mai was talking about Sadaharu. "I can't blame you for thinking that way, but…"

"Now that I've confirmed it, I should get to my work."

"Are you listening to me!?" Otose yelled and tried to tell her that there was, as a matter of fact, no man-eating creature in this house (although one may think that way at first glance). She closed her eyes and tried to think how to put it into words. "You see, that dog, he's odd, but…"

"Uh… Otose-san?" Suddenly Catherine interrupted her.

"What, Catherine? I'm trying to explain something."

"Well, she's already up there…"

Catherine pointed up, and Otose saw Mai going up the stairs on the side of the house.

"What a weird girl… But, I guess nothing's wrong if she can stop this whole racket."

Otose and Catherine retreated into the bar. They were relieved to know that Mai was here to silence Kagura. Even the two sometimes praised the way Mai and Shiragi worked, and so they were sure that Kagura would be silenced in no time.

Now, Mai had already entered the house (with permission). She went directly to the living room, where Kagura was still running around, mad without her favourite food. Gintoki's working desk was already cut in half, and thirty minutes had already passed since the last time the chair was recognizable as a chair.

"So that's the martial arts girl."

Mai was observing, rather calmly, the destructive powers of Kagura. She was simply thinking of how different it is to see something with her own eyes from seeing it in a picture.

"It's like the difference between reading Shonen Jump in Japanese and in English. Or maybe more."

"That's something Gin-san would say…"

"O?"

Mai finally realized the existence of Shinpachi, who had been standing with Sadaharu, right where he was when Gintoki deserted him.

"Who are you?" Mai asked, not really taking notice of who Shinpachi was.

"Oh, I'm Shinpachi Shimura."

"I'm Mai Miyazaki. Nice to meet you," she introduced herself, and offered her right hand to shake. However, Shinpachi's right hand is right in the mouth of Sadaharu. "Sorry, didn't notice." she said frankly and put out her left hand.

Shinpachi stared at her while he shook her hand.

"Hey, this is not the time to be introducing ourselves! Are you nuts!?"

"Oh, right, I remember now, you're the boy in the picture! So, that dog…"

"…is Sadaharu."

"Hey! He's eating your hand! You okay? Are you bleeding?"

Shinpachi sighed deeply. He could not tell what Mai was trying to do in the house. She entered without knocking, she looked at Kagura without being surprised (she rather looked as if she was watching a movie), and she seemed to have some misunderstanding about Sadaharu (man-eating dog?). Shinpachi lost all the hope he had when he saw Mai come in. He was hoping that she was going to put everything under control.

"I'm fine, so just do something to get her under control," Shinpachi asked.

"Are you mad!? You're about to be that dog's dinner. Or maybe lunch, since it's almost noon."

"Don't bother, he won't open his mouth until he gets bored. He seems to like the key Gin-san gave me, and he hasn't opened his mouth since he left."

"So that key's in your right hand?"

"Yes, Gin-san gave it to me. It's supposed to help calm Kagura-chan, but right now I can't really do anything with it."

As Shinpachi explained, Mai grinned.

"So, if I can open that dog's mouth, I can stop that girl too?"

"Probably"

"Oh, what an easy job then. I was thinking I might have to fight her."

"Fight her? You are insane. You'll never win against Kagura-chan!"

"Well, I don't have to fight her if I can open that dog's mouth right?"

"Maybe, but you can't open…Sadaharu's…mo…"

Shinapchi stopped. Mai had managed to force Sadaharu to open the mouth simply by grabbing onto his jaw.

(She MUST have inhuman strength. Maybe she's not even human!!)

Shinpachi felt his arm back in his control, and tried swinging it back and force to make sure that the free arm was actually his. He slowly opened his hand to see the miraculous key that Gintoki had left.

"WHAT IS THIS!?"

In Shinpachi's hand was something, definitely something. But it had already METLED and lost its original form. It was still gold in colour, but it was no longer a key.

"Hey you, that's just candy. I just needed to give her candy? Why didn't you tell me? I have a whole bunch in my bag," she said and took out hand full of candies from her bag.

Shinpachi thought that Kagura might like candies, but what she needs now is sukonbu. Right now she needs sourness over glucose.

(He deceived me…)

He felt his heart sink, and had the sensation of being blown into dust.

"Heeey, you okay? Shinpachi-kun?"

Hearing Mai's voice, Shinpachi looked up, only to see Sadarahu rooming just behind her, ready to take a bite. Shinpachi thought fast, but Mai was even faster; before Sadaharu could make his final dive she was out of sight.

"Heh," she laughed with immense black aura, and kicked Sadaharu in the back. It was good enough a blow to put Sadaharu unconscious.

(WHAT!? In ONE blow? What is that black smile anyways? So she isn't human. Is she another Amanto 1 like Kagura-chan?)

In Shinpachi's mind were thousands of questions that were creating a huge traffic in the path between his brain and his mouth. He managed, however, to go pale to show his fear.

"Hey, you, I can hear your heart's cries," Mai told Shinpachi and went over to where Kagura was still working on her task to destroy the sofa.

"Wait, wait, even YOU can't control HER!"

"Ah… I think I'll be fine," Mai simply waved her hand to Shinpachi; she didn't even look worried.

She stopped walking couple feet away from the sofa, and Kagura finally noticed her existence. Kagura's eyes were no longer those of human beings, but they were bloodshot, and they were glaring at Mai.

"Where's my sukonbu!" Kagura yelled and jumped on to Mai; at least, that was her plan until Mai backed away three steps. Kagura went into a dive and kissed the floor with her whole face. She couldn't get up for couple of seconds, but her anger was overpowering the sense of pain; she simply wiped her face with her hand and stood up again.

Mai tried to put her unconscious, but all her attacks were blocked by Kagura. Kagura was simply acting on her reflexes, no longer conscious of the situation.

"It's too dangerous!" Shinpachi yelled and tried to stop Mai before she was killed, but he was too late; not a single person in this world could stop Mai when she was serious.

"You just keep quiet, and run when you need to," Mai ordered as she put her hand in one of her many pockets.

(Oh, so she does have a weapon in those pockets! Wait, but if she wants to use a weapon, why doesn't she just use her wooden sword?)

Mai quickly drew her hand out of the pocket without leaving an opening for another attack; and what came out was a white handkerchief.

"Ha… ha… ha… " Shinpachi, in his genuin surprise, could not pronounce the word handkerchief, and he only managed to sound as if he was laughing.

"Yeah, I seem to have stuffy nose these days," were Mai's next words. As she tried to use the handkerchief to blow her nose, Kagura was getting herself ready to make another attack.

"What!? How can you be so laid back!?"

(She's really gonna be dead when she goes out of this house!)

Shinpachi closed his eyes, and Kagura jumped off the sofa. However, Mai's eyes were no longer having fun; she was back to her serious self.

"Leaving jokes aside," Mai murmured as she covered the mouth and the nose of Kagura with the handkerchief. Kagura struggled, but she was asleep in no time. She collapsed into the sofa, and she looked like the ordinary -- if not more peaceful -- Kagura.

"Huh? What happened?

"Just some sleeping potion on the handkerchief doing its job. She was already acting subconsciously, so it was easy to get her to sleep."

Mai shouldered Kagura, and simply walked out the house as calmly as when she had entered it.

"Hey, Shiragi! Did you get the wagon?" Mai yelled as she dropped Kagura in front of Gintoki's house.

"Who are you talking to?" Shinpachi followed her to the door, curious of what Mai was up to now (and worried about what may happen to Kagura).

"Oh, my friend's just --"

Just out there, was what Mai was trying to say as she entered the house once again, but she was cut short by a great rumbling noise coming up the stairs leading to the second floor. Mai smiled a little and went further into the house again to pull out another unconscious being: Sadaharu.

"Um… wait, Mai-san."

"What is it, do you want to thank the person who sent us here or something?"

"Huh? Who's that?"

"Dunno, I forgot to ask his name."

Shinpachi decided that he was curious of this mysterious person that made Mai and this other "friend" come to the house, and so he followed Mai out the house.

On the balcony in front of Gintoki's house was Shiragi and a wagon which she had brought. Mai placed Kagura and Sadaharu on the wagon, and Shiragi picked up the wagon and went down the stairs again.

(These people… are not human)

Shinpachi was half right, but that can be explained with further details later.

"Shinpachi, you get on the wagon too."

"Oh no, it's okay, I can walk," Shinpachi said, but he realized that Mai was connecting the wagon to her scooter. Shinpachi found he was left with no choice but to get on the wagon.

"Hold on tight, 'cause I like to put some speed."

"What was that?"

"I said," Mai started the engine, "hold on to something!"

Shinpachi grabbed onto Sadaharu's collar. He reckoned a dog his size would not be thrown out the wagon no matter how fast Mai liked to drive; however, he was proven wrong quite easily.

The scooter started to run, and before Shinpachi could even pronounce one word of "oh the wind feels nice," he was being pushed back by the wind. The scooter was most definitely going over the speed limit, but Mai was laughing.

(So she isn't human after all!)

Shinpachi could not tell whether he was rescued by Mai or he was in need of rescue from Mai at the moment. When he felt tears coming out of his eyes, he saw the blurry figure of Mai signal to turn to the right. Of course, the centrifugal force almost sent Shinpachi flying. He hoped with 100 of his heart that Sadaharu was still lying on the wagon, but when he opened his eyes, he saw the dog leave off from the wagon as well.

It is often said that people see things in slowmotion at the moment an accident occurs. Right at this second, the world seemed uncomfortably slow for Shinpachi. On the right, he could see Kagura, still asleep and snoring without any clue of what may be happening, who was also thrown off of the wagon.

The world was even slow enough for Shinpachi to think carefully about the situation.

(At this rate, it's either gonna be smash into a building or smash onto the ground.)

He closed his eyes, only to darken his vision and make his fear worse.

(Please God! Just let me live!)

Of course, it is by now time to realize how slow he had been "falling." He did, by the way, have the time to see Kagura, think about what may happen to him, and to pray.

(Even in anime they don't usually make the audience wait this long… do they?)

He cautiously opened his eyes, and he caught sight of the wagon right underneath himself. He also could see Shiragi, still sitting neatly in the wagon. Nothing seemed to be wrong with her, except for one thing; her arms somehow seemed long.

Shinpachi looked up, and he saw that Sadaharu was right over him. He saw two hands grabbing onto Sadaharu's collar: one was his own, and the other had a black glove on. This other hand was connected to a silver arm, which was connected to Shiragi.

(What in the world's going on!?)

He tried his best not to loose his consciousness and looked to his side again. He noticed that Kagura was hanging from Shiragi's other hand.

"Uh.. Shiragi-chan? Can you let us down?"

Shiragi begane to shorten her arm, and when the three were on the wagon again, her hands were inside her sleeves.

"Hey, anything wrong back there?" Mai asked without turning back.

"How could anything NOT go wrong!?"

"Well, I did tell you to hang on to something."

"I did but…" Shinpachi tried to fight back, but he lost his energy and fell unconscious.

"What, Shiragi, did he faint? Oh, what am I gonna tell that guy now? This guy's his friend, right?" Mai turned back to look at Shinpachi.

"Mai, please face the front when you drive."

Luckily, Mai did not crash into any obstacles, and she was back to her house in several minutes.

1 Amanto: alien


	5. Chapter 5

"We're here…hey, the guests are all unconscious. What's with that?"

Mai's scooter finally stopped. However, only Mai and Shiragi were conscious enough to notice that. The other three were happily in another world, unconscious from the rough ride.

05 It's not good when human beings depend too much on machines.

Gintoki was reading Shonen Jump as he sat on a sofa. Some time after Mai left the house, he found the next issue of Jump on the kitchen counter. He had no clue what the unpublished issue was doing in Mai's kitchen, but curiosity clouded his logics and he began to read.

"Hey, I'm back!" came the voice of Mai from the door. Gintoki looked to the side only to see Mai dragging a wagon into the room.

"Wait, you actually did it?"

"Yeah, these guys are the people you were talking about, right?"

"Well, yeah, these are them, but…"

"One of them became unconscious, and the other's sleeping. I only used a light sleeping powder. Oh, the boy was not hurt at all, if you are concerned. He only fainted on the road trip -- I guess the wind was too refreshing for his liking."

"Was he screaming 'I'll fly like the wind!' and stuff like that?"

"Yeah, that's it."

It came across Gintoki's mind that Shinapchi was not, in fact, the kind of person who would express his interest in become the wind -- or in flying. Gintoki decided that the heat must have had some effect on the boy's mind, and left it at that. The weather was unusually warm these days…

"Now, since I have your confirmation that they are the bandits…"

"Yeah?"

Gintoki responded as he approached Kagura. She is, in fact, sleeping soundly.

"I guess I should take them to the Shinsengumi before they wake up."

"What!? Wait a minute!"

Before Mai could get out of the house, Gintoki ran to the door of the office and blocked the way.

"What is it? Oh, of course, your worried about the paym--"

"Ah… the what-you-call-it"

"Huh?"

Gintoki tried his best, using more brain cells than he did in the past year, to think of the smartest way to escape this situation. He simulated several excuses in his mind to dissuade Mai from handing Kagura and Sadaharu to Shinsengumi.

"So, what I'm trying to say is that…" Gintoki said this far and decided at the last minute that it is always useful to start with the truth. "It was all a lie."

"What?"

All of Mai's movement stopped. She froze in utter surprise, staring blankly at Gintoki.

"Lie?" was all that she managed to say.

"Yup," answered Gintoki, and waited until Mai could make her own deduction, hoping for all to turn out well.

"So, what you are saying is…" Mai started to express her theory when her body defrosted. "that these guys are not criminals…"

"Exactly."

"And they weren't even disturbing the peace of the Edo citizens…"

"Well, they did annoy some people but… sure, why not put it that way."

"Oh, not I get it. This boy with glasses who looks like a glasses-otaku 1 at first sight is actually a villain, who was trying to abduct this innocent girl and her faithful dog!"

Mai was being absorbed into her own world, making the whole situation into a story of her creation. In her mind, Kagura and Sadaharu are no longer dangerous thugs of Edo, but on the contrary, Shinpachi was turned into a villain.

"Alright, now only thing I need to do is turn the boy over to Shinsengumi!"

"Waaaaaaaait!!"

"What, I told you, the paymen--"

"That Shinpachi has no history of criminal acts."

"So…?"

"So…what I'm trying to say is…" Gintoki scratched his head as he tried to explain.

"Oh, now I get it!" Mai exclaimed, and this time, a standard light bulb was shining above her head. "You were just trying to test my abilities!"

"Ah, sure… I mean yes."

"Huh, so you were just trying to see how good a freelancer I am! Everything was an act, then?"

"Yeah, something like that"

"Well then, I have to say you're a great actor -- all of you, I mean. This girl was actually half destroying the house to fool me. You know, not many people go this far to investigate others."

"Was is that bad?"

"Bad!? The acting was amazing! I think you all should audition for a movie!" Mai laughed and sat on a sofa facing Gintoki. 'Well, if you came to investigate me, are you of the same trade?"

"They call me Yorozuya Gin-chan. My name's Sakata Gintoki."

"Miyazaki Mai's my name," she said, as she offered her hand. Gintoki shook it.

"So, how's your business going?" asked Mai.

"Pretty well. You know, I have the regular clients who gets in trouble often, and I usually end up cleaning their mess. I get some new clients once in a while too," answered Gintoki, and of course, he was bluffing.

Finally by this time, the members of Yorozuya trio (and the dog) were finally getting up. Mai hardened her expression as she caught sight of them move.

(Wow, they actually regained consciousness at the same time. They must have a great connection with one another. They'll make a tough rival for sure.)

"Ah… where are we?" was the first thing Shinpachi said. In his troubled vision, Gintoki and Mai were still not present, and he could only come to one conclusion from waking up in an unfamiliar room.

(Was I abducted? I knew that lady was weird! Not weird, dangerous!!)

"What am I to do!?"

Seeing Kagura rise, Shinpachi swore in his heart that he will make sure all three, including Sadaharu escape safely. If one looked very carefully, he could have seen the fire burning in Shinpachi's heart.

"Wait for us, Gin-san! We'll be there shortly to help support your hopeless business!" Shinpachi yelled wholeheartedly without realizing that Gintoki was right behind him with his fist trembling of anger. Near Gintoki, Mai could not suppress her laughter.

"You have a very cute apprentice, don't you."

"Ah, well, that's the technique to get one's motivation up. Something I taught him a while ago."

"Huh, what kind of technique is that?"

"Well, first you pretend that someone important to your life is having some kind of trouble. In his case, he's pretending that my business is not going alright. And then you say to yourself that your goal is to help that person rise form the desperate situation. Do this and you can usually escape from any trouble."

Gintoki was nodding as he said this, and Mai was sighing.

"You sound like those people who try to gain the three principles of Jump -- Friendship, Effort, and Victory -- and feel the ultimate happiness in their lives."

"What, you have problem with Jump?" Gintoki was definitely ready to fight as he said this.

Mai, on the other hand, was staring outside her window. There was nothing special outside (other than a poster of Prince of Badminton on the neighbour's window). It was simply a habit of hers to look outside when she is remembering about something.

"No, Jump's not bad. I even read it sometimes. But I knew someone… may be he was like you in a way. He was trying to gain those 'three principles' and went off on a journey. When I returned to Edo I saw the same guy carrying poverty, fatigue, and sluggishness."

Gintoki could not hide his anger as he heard those dream-shattering comments. However, Mai was either not aware of, or ignoring the dense aura of anger.

"I say those things aren't something to go looking for. Probably characters in novels and comic books are also feeling like they're missing something in their lives. They might not be aware that they are living the drama that the readers look for. Hey, someone might be watching you, Sakata Gintoki, and he or she might see something in your life that you can't see."

"My life, huh. Well, my life isn't quite normal."

"No life is normal," Mai said and turned her attention to the wagon.

Now Kagura was taking part in the excitement with Shinpachi. The two were completely unaware of the existence of Gintoki and Mai. Shinpachi was so absorbed in his own world that he did not even notice Sadaharu biting into his head.

"I say," Mai murmured as she smiled, "normal life is the hardest to get."

Her voice was too soft to be meant as a part of their conversation, but it was too loud to be meant for herself alone. Gintoki decided to answer it anyways.

"I don't know anyone trying their best to live a normal life, though. They all live the way they do."

"I think the happiest life is the most normal life. Having a comfortable job, not worrying about human relationships, living with a family, having the time for fun. There's a rhythm, and the change in life is as slight as the small saves in the ocean."

"That life would be too peaceful for me," blurted Gintoki.

"Huh, you're like a small boy."

"A man's always like a boy, you know."

"That's something only a man who never stops reading Jump would say."

"Oi, that's kinda harsh, you know. Gin-san's hurt."

"Oh, wow, you have a heart as delicate as a small boy's as well."

And Mai laughed. She was not laughing loudly, but she looked happy. Only when she was laughing, Gintoki thought he saw the real her for the first time, as if a mask hiding her mind naturally slid off.

(I wonder if she was involved in that…)

Gintoki thought and directed his attention to her wooden sword. After the decree banning the wearing of swords, most swordsmen let go of their blades and skills. However, she kept a wooden sword, just like he did. Gintoki guessed that she was a swordsman just like he was in the past. It was most likely that she was part of the war that he himself had fought.

"Don't over do it, you know." Before Gintoki could recognize the words he was speaking, they were already out of his mouth.

"What?"

"No, nothing."

He did not even know why he had said those words. He tried to pretend that he had said nothing, but Mai had obviously heard something.

(What were we talking about before all this?)

Gintoki thought hard again, trying to retrieve his memories.

"Oh, right, well, tell your friend to not look for that happiness blindly."

"I know, I'll tell him about you when I do. Maybe you can help him."

"Oi oi, you sure? We both work in the same field."

"I'm not exactly the type to collect as many customers as I can. It may end up being helpful for him to know two different freelancers to choose from too."

Little did she know that she took most of Gintoki's clients.

"Well, I mean I think so too, you know. I was actually trying to introduce some people to you. You are new to Edo."

Although the clients he could have introduced, if he had any, were all taken by Mai.

"Oh, I didn't know people of Edo were so kind."

"Well, if something comes up you can come to my place. I should have an advice or two as a senior freelancer."

"Thanks."

He really didn't have that kind of luxury, to speak the truth. He NEEDED customers, he couldn't introduce any. He said these rather kind and supportive words, but in reality he was trying to find a way to win over the new rival.

"Alright, you three, we're going back."

Finally when Gintoki called them thus, Shinpachi and Kagura realized his existence.

"What!? You're caught too!?" shouted Shinpachi, thinking the only reason Gintoki could be in the same mysterious room as him was that he was caught. He also seemed to have lost hope in "escaping", now that his somewhat-respected Gin-san appeared to him as caught.

"Gin-chan, I can't believe you! You fell for that kind of woman?"

"What, she seduced you!?"

The two advancing (and a dog biting on one of them) apparently have no knowledge that Mai is just right there.

"Who got seduced!? You definitely have no clue what state you're in, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are not caught. You were brought here, because I asked her to," said Gintoki, as he pointed his finger towards Mai.

"Waah! You, what do you want from us? We definitely have no money, just to let you know!"

"That's right! Gin-chan is in a state where he has to live off of three cups of sugared water per day, you know!" boasted Kagura, without knowing that this is not something to brag about.

"I'm telling you you're not abducted!" Gintoki shouted.

"Yeah, think about it, you think I can seduce anyone?" Mai said, laughing and pointing herself.

She had a point, mind you. She dressed well, but it wasn't "lady like." She wasn't wearing a fashionable kimono (although the top piece resembled a kimono somewhat), she was wearing baggy shorts. Her short hair made her look almost like a young boy.

Shiragi sighed and pointed towards the hall saying, "If you'd like to escape, the exit is located at the end of this hallway."

"You," said Gintoki, "can you not make this any more complicated? These kids will believe you about 'escaping'." He seemed rather frustrated with the two kids excited about the whole abduction and escape business.

"Hey, let kids have fun with imagination."

"It's not imagination with these two, it's delusion!" shouted Gintoki, and he dragged Shinpachi, Kagura, and Sadaharu to the corner of the room. There, he explained what was going on. He was just bluffing about testing Mai's ability; he was just trying to get someone to stop Kagura, Of course, he couldn't let Mai know this, so he had to suspiciously have a meeting at the corner.

"So that's what's going on, okay?"

"Yes, Gin-san."

"I just remembered from that. I need sukonbu!" shouted Kagura as she defiantly stood up.

"What, don't start the racket here."

"Wait Gin-san, if we let here go crazy here, Mai-san can take care of it. It's better here than at your house," suggested Shinpachi.

"I see your brain still isn't rotten! I knew you're a good boy!"

"Are you praising me, or are you looking for a fight?" Shinpachi asked with a trembling fist by his face.

"Excuse me," came a voice and all three (including Kagura) flew out of their skin. They looked the way from which the sound came, and saw Shiragi holding a plate in her hands. On that plate are neatly placed pieces of sukonbu, arranged as if they were some kind of luxurious food item.

"Here, enjoy."

"It's sukonbu! I thought I'll never see you again!" shouted Kagura as she lept for the sukonbu. However, Shiragi quietly walked away, leaving Kagura to kiss the floor. Kagura got up rubbing her hurt face. She glared at Shiragi, but Shiragi took no notice of it and placed the plate on a coffee table.

"You --. Don't monkey around with me!"

Despite Kagura's dense black aura, Mai offered the Yorozuya trio to have a seat.

"Sit here. I'll get you something to drink."

Yorozuya trio sat down on sofas around the coffee table as directed. Kagura quickly started devouring the sukonbu, grasping onto the happiness she had been waiting for so long. Her aura changed in quality too, and her eyes were those of a little girl's, rather a monster's.

"I'll go, please sit down," said Shiragi as she stopped Mai from walking towards the kitchen. Mai smiled and let her go.

"I was wondering…" Shinpachi started.

"What is it?"

"Who is that girl?"

"You mean Shiragi?"

Shinpachi just nodded to that. Gintoki and Kagura seemed to be interested as well.

"Shiragi is --"

"Sorry to have kept you waiting," interrupted Shiragi timely, as she placed four cups on the coffee table. She brought Mai a cup of tea, and the others a float. Then she sat down beside Mai.

"No drink for Shiragi?" asked Kagura.

"No, I don't drink."

"To be precise, she can't drink."

"Why?" the trio asked at the same time.

"Because she's a robot."

Yorozuya trio stopped their hands reaching for their cups in midair, and Shiragi just nodded.

1 Shinpachi's nickname often used by Kagura. Otakumaniac, fanatic


End file.
